narcissist and second marriage

I am going through a divorce right now. The year they were dating/engaged (she was in a rush to marry him and get a visa less than 12 months after they met) she spammed him with over the top public declarations of love that read like she was quoting bits of a romance film. He is now engaged to a Chinese immigrant who barely speaks English. Rediscovering narcissism and interested to read the above comments. How can someone who has a history of cheating and lying, who lacks empathy and compassion, and who has proven that he/she has no desire of upholding their vows get remarried? This guy was treating me like the enemy The final straw was when I caught him in a HUGE lie hed told his brother about me. What a joke. I broke up with him after that and found out later he was already seeing and planning a life with his next victim. Leave all the emotions out (even if youre faking it till you make it), dont react to smear-campaigning, and use some Hollywood-style PR to get your life and sanity back by not giving him any form of supply at all (through reactions, emotions, facial expressions, etc.). I was in your exact situation a year ago. So i asked her, have u been with any other guy since we separated and she said no, but she is looking and hopefully will fine a guy soon. and grooming his next victim. Its sickening what they do and how they do it, and get away with it. He made up some elaborate story to make me look bad to everyone. In a marriage or serious relationship, a narcissist can demand they be loved, and shame you when you arent doing what they want. I believe he feels the same way. Narcissist use marriage and relationships as a way of obtaining status and prestige in their community. Instead, it will be through manipulation, control, and force. Since narcissists need a constant . Jump to four years later and our son who can now talk and express himself very well starts to talk about this other person that his father has been having him spend time with. Narcissistic dad and my wedding. According to a 2019 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, people with NPD have traits that make it harder to love another person. Loved his energy he was so exciting to be with. Its like these people are clones of each other! Narcissists tend to get worse when they marry. He wants people to think he is better than they are, and that includes you - especially you. Usually they will continue with the same behavior as before. With all of these incidences happening she always paints her exes as the bad guy and how controlling and narcissistic they were. I started to notice he was aggressive and violent. His response to divorce is to walk away and not answer emails or calls from me or my daughter (the one he adopted). If they left you congratulations! Most worrying (to me anyway), is that she cant stand his son and complains about how annoying he is when he stays with them. Her behavior is erratic and she leaves her children home often to go on long trips with whoever is her husband or boyfriend at the time. One day she hates me and never wants to see me, next day she shows up at my office with a bag of oranges she said she bought me. I dont know if their marriage will last or not but I care not because its not me that he is treating bad anymore. They actually were in on it together waiting for her to close on her house so he could leave me and move in with her. Spend months battling over custody. So its not a huge stretch of the imagination to think she will end up running off with a younger model (if she hasnt already). I know why he looks as though hes aged an entire decade in the last year, because I did. Narcissists behave worse with age. How did I become the enemy if he is finally getting his freedom? And since she has destroyed his self esteem, he just accepts whatever she wants and gives in to avoid being alone. She rarely listens to anything you say when you talk to her and is continually talking about herself and only likes to gossip about others. Things seemed great in the first few years of our marriage but soon there were cracks, caught him in a few lies, saw how his personality completely changed depending on who was present. Take notes for EVERYTHING! We are not exs, we are victims of these people. Securing it is their dominant drive. Her fourth marriage and she is only a few months into 43 years old! And sexually, my God, absolutely fantastic at sex and also giving me a blowjob, swallowed, etc, like i never thought it could be that good. Its less likely they cheated on you. He is such a complete loser and the girl isnt that pretty. Therefore, a narcissist will only associate with others of high status or intellect, for they feel ONLY these people can possibly understand them. There will be times that you think this is happening and then one day hell go and marry this girl that he left you for. So, have enough confidence to put forth what is right and do not back down. But I was ready to cut HIM loose. Hmm. What a f*cking head case! This July he stopped paying me. Another time she called and wanted to take me to lunch on fathers day, yet we have no kids together. Thank God they werent my kids though. Narcissists have a serious psychological condition which makes it difficult for them to tell the truth or have empathy for others. She is the love of his life. I finally met someone last year at work who ticks every single box. He was living with his 3rd wife 5 months after we separated and living with his 4th wife 4 months after leaving his 3rd wife. They may claim abuse, cheating, lying, and more. I stop birth control. You have your freedom, as in you are not locked up as a result of this r/ship.i could go on and on. I guess my question is, is this normal? As someone who really wanted kids, but cant have them, seeing a child being treated with contempt like that really gets to me. They cannot control the intense negative feelings that they generate in their own mind. An emotion that is never allowed tp be expressed in a spouse of a narcissist. And why do they often rush to RE-marry? Kept finances separate. No he told me when i called him that they did not meet on the bus that day, they had planned to meet few days before. I was mad of course, and she called him in front of me and said she cannot see or talk to him again. Once my father passed she pretty much made me responsible for my sister and shirked all parental responsibility for either of us after that. Just a thought here.the temptation to compare her new companion with you is realbut try to resist. He did this to get at me because I wouldnt take him back, then she became pregnant and terminated the pregnancy because they were already beginning to have problems. But I thought if I kept quiet life would be ok. My concern is my children, I have no communication with him or her because I refuse to be in that triangled mess and I hope and pray that it all works out for them. Everything she has ever told me was a lie, so why would she start being honest now? Is a narcissist able to maintain his second marriage? She got pregnant right away, so she could get more attention, bought a HUGE house so she could show everyone how successful she was after remarrying this amazing guy. Ive been told he degrades her and was willing to marry on the condition she provides income to support our adult daughter & grand daughter who live with him. Because the narcissist is so consumed with themself, they have no room to be concerned about what someone else . A narcissist often gets worse after marriage. I thought that now he was getting a divorce and would be able to freely do what he wanted that he would be satisfied with that but he continue to find ways to torture me or get back at me in a very subtle ways. We adopted each others youngest kids about half-way through the 10 yr marriage (the others by then had gone to college). She got him a car he takes his children to their moms and they go on vacation. Narcissists are generally grandiose people with an unending need for admiration and a lack of empathy, says psychologist Danielle Forshee, PsyD. He describes the ladys home, where they went what they do together in great detail. Nature sure what to do about a narcissist second marriage? My ex is a classic, insecure narc. My family and I have been trying to pinpoint what exactly her mental problems are and have figured that Narcissism could be a possibility. The first year it was great. I dont know the Narcissists new wife, but was friends with his first wife and she was a total door mat to him. He got us so far into debt, I could not afford to divorce himfinally I just didI did not care, I moved out. Narcissists get married because they want someone to inflate their ego and be a permanent source of narcissistic supply. He kept stringing me along crumbs of affection and fake futuring making me believe he wanted things to work. Second, narcissists are always concerned about their image and narcissists to need people more than the typical person does. Divorcing a Narcissist is the ultimate challenge, The Narcissist Keeps Coming Back and Contacting Me, My Narcissist Boyfriend is Jealous of my Ex. Living with a narcissist or dating a vulnerable narcissist can be draining, especially if you are married or deeply committed to one. At first it was really hard but taking the time to get to know myself, focus on my children and recovery was the best choice Ive ever made! With a normal healthy stable awake person there is no way the marriage can last long term. Thanks for letting tell someone what is happing. They are soon to be married and are plastering their gushing love all over social media. Your narcissistic spouse may not be able to support you or show genuine emotion. For all those wondering what they did wrong.the answer is loved someone who has not learned to love themselves.love is not on the narcissist list of needs.only the external supply they need to power themselveseither give it to them and let yourself be depleted until you stop being you or respect yourself enough to simply let them be who they are and cut your losses and walk away NOW! Then one day she went she said to meet a gf of hers for lunch and then the library. I have notes from 2012 about him and what hes been doing. Glad I did. Slapped a ring on her finger after 4 months, moved into her house. Typically, narcissist do not get better after marriage. His kids will attend his wedding- I told them to stay out of the business of warning Ying- its none of their business. lol. Often they will be cheating, or have someone else on the line. When a narcissist rushes into a relationship and remarries quickly, you can be rest assured there is SOMETHING in it for them. Her oldest sons gf was pregnant, so she wanted a kid then too.

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