husband drunk when i went into labor

My husband has never gotten a drivers license so I had to drive us the 25 minutes to the hospital while dealing with early contractions. Every year, nearly 9,000 women in the U.S. go into labor and, unable to make it to the hospital, have an unplanned or unattended birth at home or in the car on the way to the hospital. Apparently i was keeeping him awake. He at Popeyes and now she is here yelling bout the fact he ate. he replied no it didnt and rolled over to try and go back to sleep. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a . Five drinks regularly to "unwind" isquite a lot. When I was born my Dad was on a fishing trip. Pregnant . Fine. Its amazing he still had the equipment to impregnate me one more time time!!!! Clearly this was ridiculous. ? If you can't reach your doctor or midwife, go to the emergency room. After the haircut I assume we will be leaving for the hospital and then he informs me he needs to take a shower to get the hair off. There is no scientific proof to show that drinking alcohol can help in inducing labor. Braxton hicks are most often painless or at the worst, uncomfortable. He took my concerns seriously and that is the important part. My husband fell asleep while I was in labor and was in such a deep sleep, the anesthesiologist had to maneuver around him in the chair in order to do the epidural. Mines more funny than bad: I went to the hospital 7 weeks early and had an emergency c-section because of HELLP syndrome. Whats worse is that his parents brought him back to the hospital drunk as a skunk. But hey, at least the rage is not being maintained. Call a sibling or a friend and have them be at the ready to bring you to the hospital on the off chance your husband decides to booze it up with his co-workers. I write about that struggle & stuff. Don't do it right after work when he's looking forward to sitting and unwinding. Listen to Token and others who have pointed out that there is a problem beyond driving to L&D. A. Well, it was getting late, and his sister called to see how things were going, and he smiled affectionately at me and told her that the contractions werent too bad yet. Thanks! I know you don't want to hear this, but you really need to read up on alcoholism. This message, when put right, will force them to be in their best mood despite being overly drunk. Hopefully our midwife keeps him in line. I am starving and not allowed to eat so I order him out of the room. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action. Second, how important is it to your husband that he be at the birth? Luckily, I had the exact opposite experience . We tackled more laundry. So, he took a nap. I remember thinking . Well when it was time for my epidural, my husband went home to take a quick shower and grab a bite to eat! Driving drunk is a big effing deal. Children should be seen, and heard, and believed. Or speaking to each other in limited statements, such as Jack just shat his pants or the toilet is blocked. I would have the conversation when he isn't drinking and is in a good mood. Woo hoo! Or do you let fly in situ? You may be in active labor if your contractions happen at least every 5 minutes, last for 1 minute each, and have been . (Nurses are usually fabulous but it is always nice to have your own personal support person). This is the best Ive got: During pregnancy, the cervix stays closed and plugged up with mucus (aptly called the "mucus plug"). I push for over two hours and my daughter was born at 6:55 am. Hes a genius. When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. As he was putting the needle in my back, my husband let out a loud snore and the dr laughed. 45 minutes later, we left the house in a crazy snowstorm. Around 4:30 Sunday morning, I start pushing. . -RealMomofNJ, Mine kicked me out of the car in the ambulance bay 9cm dilated with my bag and left me to traipse across the hospital and up two flights of stairs on my own because he didnt want to pay for hospital parking. To his credit, he sprung out of bed, I rang my best friend and she came to look after Maddie and Sam. , as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. My husband and I heeded the advice and packed a bunch of snacks. Unless yo ass is imoan. He's in sales and always has social work meetings where drinks are served, too, which doesn't help. According to the World Health Organisation. My husband was beyond perfect. I cleaned the house again. If you are married to an alcoholic, here are seven ways to deal with the problem. When my DH was starting up his business last year we were going through huge financial stress he would often have 2-3 beer over a day. Oh, yeah, I am sure he will slow it down. I COULDNT actually talk. And that I hadnt eaten dinner and was starving. He was waiting for my sister to get home so that my car didnt get left in the parking lot. Women need to put their foot down. It's like a moron twilight zone in here. You can also ask them any questions you may have and share your experiences with them. My mom would have been my birth coach. The following morning,he woke up very early and went to work! With our first child, he made me wait until the show Charlies Angels was done before leaving for the hospital. It can vary widely. My MIL came by after her work at 3pm to bring me food, saw the mess of family and refused to leave till I was tucked into a room with the baby across the building from the birth family. Binge drinking is a kind of alcoholism. Which is normally fine, but NOT when your in labor! So, while I was practically under our bed from being doubled over in pain, looking at his watch, he said, I think you need to be more in tune with your body.. 9 months or so? While have contractions at home with my 1st child ( it was around 6pm and my contractions were coming every 5min) my husband called up to me from down stairs (I was on all 4s at this point) asking if I was hungry and he was going to order an Indian take-away. where do you file a complaint against a hospital; failure to pay full time and attention va code; bones angela and hodgins in jail; mirabella svadobny salon dubnica nad vahom 1. I have to admit, my husband is a trooper in regards to labor and delivery, absolutely wonderful. I was panting when he turned and yelled at me why cant you get to four. The midwife explained it at the hospital as the baby was born less then 30 minutes later. My guess is that most husbands sort of enjoy seeing their wives suffering a little bit, especially if it was the wife nagging to have the child. 5. After 30 hours of labor, it was time to go to the hospital and my husband informs me that he needs to run across the street to get his hair cut and I have the number if I need him. And yes, I actually fix my hair. At the hospital after the birth of our second child, my husband asked if we could not stay at the hospital because he didnt sleep well there and it hurt his backand, apparently he won that one because we packed up and headed home, where his selective hearing allowed him to sleep through the night from that point forward. I don't believe Alcoholics Anonymous is very effective, personally, but it's free and the meetings are plentiful, so it might be a good place to start. When I was in labor with my second, I waited at home until I couldnt stand it anymore because I didnt want to be in the hospital for hours in labor like I was with my first. I was in labor (induced) for 48 hours while my husband was uncomfortable in his chair and feeling nauseous from a sandwich he ate. I wish men weren't so stupid about some things. As a wife of a recovering alcoholic please listen to what everyone is saying about binge drinking and alcoholism. I am not saying what your DH is doing is right, in fact, I think 5 drinks every night is a bit heavy and you should talk to him about it. You have much bigger issues and should seriosly consider looking into alanon. Jack Morley, the giant baby, was born just after 8am. I'm guesing it's pretty important. (this part was planned, hospital rule, only 2 in the delivery room besides the mom- so her mom and I attended) I was mentally exhausted by the time the baby was born at 6:44 pm. Then I proceeded to time them for an hour (so he could continue sleeping). Is this the best way though? After our daughter was born he Also, per Davidson, never, ever wear open-toed shoes to the hospital. But still no medal. My husband and I were so excited that we jumped right into action. I guess this is natures version of temporary amnesia because clearly, without it, wed never go back for more. This message, when put right, will force them to be in their best mood despite being overly drunk. Then she told me to leave. Now, no matter how many babies you have given birth to, you still never quite remember the feeling of going into labour until it actually happens again. July 2015 Answer . She had yummy ice chips and broth. I was scared. We got to the hospital at 5 pm. This has nothing to do with "men being stupid". April 2011. Tell him your concerns rationally and lovingly, and if he doesn't listen you have your answer as to the best course of action for you and your child on the day of labor and beyond. Creative Skirt reserves the right to use all submitted photos, -Carrie, After I finally agreed to an epidural, the nurse explained that it would feel like a quick little bee sting. He went home to sleep in our bed so he could get some rest. She all but collapses into my arms exhausted to the point she couldn't even walk to the bedroom. My first child was early and I had a long hard 19 hour labor. Life with an alcoholic husband is tough. All they could do was pace the floor in the waiting room. Woman Had Husband Murdered While She Was In Labor With His Best Friend's Baby. I was induced at 7pm, and about 1am my husband decided to go home and get some sleep (I hadnt slept at all either!) He was drinking coffee, eating breakfast and taking care of the dogs because they were going to be caged up all day. I have always gone into labor in the evening so DH was home with me and it was my water breaking that made me go in. -Parisa, When it was time to go to the hospital, my husband said he needed to shower and shave first. While having my first son, I tore from one end to the other. We had attended Lamaze together and learned the stages of labor. At 2am I finally was in some relief from my epidural and was hoping to MAYBE take a nap before go time. I ended up having a C-section and he decided it would be best if he waited in the recovery room instead of coming into the E.R. The men or the women that married men like the ones referenced in the comments? I had just done the majority of the labouring at home, in silence, (Because apparently Im now a Scientologist) not wanting to bother the pissed irresponsible husband and he was a little bit tired? Because she was in labor, he should have endured what, no food, no water, no bathroom, what is good enough? My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. Help her stay focused and relaxed. You can't drive yourself, and if he's been drinking that much then you are taking cab. My husband devours some of the Popeyes chicken and then comes back in and sits with me and then falls asleep. The best way to cope with your stress and maintain a positive attitude is to stay focused on your goals and avoid situations that may trigger the urge to drink. What else am I supposed to do?-Tina, In the delivery room, my husband went into hypoglycemic shock because he hadnt eaten in 48 hours. Promote a faster and healthier labor. It was like something from a movie. He said he felt so guilty and was terrified he was going to get pulled over. When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. Reach out to rescue them only when they seek out help. Imagine youre married to an alcoholic husband who drinks daily and beyond the limit, only to create a nuisance later. His father had to leave the room because he felt like he was going to throw up.saying It looks like hamburger meat. I folded those clothes some more. to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. After 26 hours of Oxytocin induced labour our son arrived and my hubby had the balls to say jokingly Well, at least we know hes hers! There was never any doubt about paternity, it was just his stupid sense of humour. My husband decided the ideal time to invite his parents into the labor & delivery room was when I was laying spread eagle, everything out for the world to see, being stitched up by the doctor after our son was born. I had to wait nearly an hour for my epidural and was 8cm when I got it. for fear that he would pass out. Yeah, you know, cause he was the one up since 5 am working on pushing a 10 pound baby out of his body. For my last birth and for this one I have been an hour away from the hospital. With my 1st son, my husband wanted to take a shower before we left for the hospital. Luckily, my own husband was a peach! Then 14 hours and a baby boy later, he called to let everyone at the office (a family business) know the good news. My car, my car! he said with horror. It scream youth and ignorance. No matter how much you date a person before marriage, some things are revealed afterward. Ouch. Bern Morley. Hubbys problem is that he likes to talk. Not during labor, but our almost 10 pound baby ended up in the NICU for low oxygen saturation. How long has it been since you had a drink? . When you sent the call out, you said husbands, and I totally forgot what my dad did the night I was born. I know the tone has gotten pretty intense, but it shouldn't interfere with the central message: the behavior you're describing in your husband is binge drinking, and the more often he does it, the worse off your family will be. You know, the stuff you still hold over his head. Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! My husband and I have had our problems with his drinking in the past. -Meredith, My husband had ONE job, ONE. 10000% this. This is not an average, it is the maximum recommended amount for any given day. He's turning 30 - his birthday isn't some magical day where responsibilities don't apply to him I'm currently TTC and my husband already knows that he isn't getting drunk during my entire final month (36 weeks on) unless there is a plan for someone else to drive me. HELLO! What happens if you have an emergency at home one night and your husband is drunk? You should also make sure to spend quality time with each other and remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place. At 9 am, contractions really kicked in and still no hubby. My hero. No seriously, it was my due date. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I went into labor at 10:30am Saturday morning and, this being my first child, I didnt know it. Needless to say when i got there i was 8 cm dialated and fully efaced and it was to late to even get an epidural . It's annoying, but it's not like he sits down and pounds hard alcohol or something. -Carrie, My husband rested the magazine he was reading on my legs while I lay dying WITHOUT an epidural. Thats why I wish my daughter grows up to be gay. You are not going to want to have this conversation, but you have to. You would really benefit from an Al-Anon meeting or two. I suppose I should give him credit for being there at least. Unbeknownst to her, it was contractions. Here are 10 ways of dealing with an alcoholic husband: Wondering how you should be dealing with an alcoholic husband? He never got that chance. Phil, was at this point, fading fast. Eileen, My husband went duck hunting and forgot to charge his cell phone. Not sure of this counts but after I had the baby I realized I forgot to pack underware so I told my husband to bring me a pair. Ha, I thought to myself, hell be visiting the bathroom regularly tomorrow. What does his choice of alchohol have to do with it? I think your husband should be able to handle 3-5 weeks of not drinking in exchange for a healthy baby and wife. Wondering how? A woman seduces her husband at Halloween party and then finds out he switched costumes with someone else. She told you how big he was going to be. My FI usually has a few drinks every night too but I am not really worried about him not being able to drive to the hospital because theres tons of people around us who would be more than willing to drive me there. Once we got to the hospital, though, he was great. Mine wasnt nearly as bad as these more just funny. Hubby was very excited and solicitous and kept asking how I was and what did I need. I asked him to rub my aching back and he refused. How do you know he will take you seriously if you tell him you are uncomfortable with the amount he is drinking? If I was to go into labor when he was drinking he wouldn't be there and that's that. I get all the credit for being an awesome stepdad and none of the crap over what got screwed up during labor. It just would not be a good situation for DH to be drunk in the delivery room. Second, that is way to much drinking for a regular basis. My water broke in the middle of the night, we made our way to the hospital and once we arrived i was put in a wheel chair, wheeled into the elevator and left unable to walk because of pain while my husband went to find a free parking spot. Who knows..just having a baby may wake him up and realize that there are more important things to stay sober for. I called and called and called him just to get that annoying beep saying he was already on the phone (with his brother) he would not answer my call. My husband went home the next day and brought me some things, namely a mens xl t-shirt that said Wanna Play Doctor? on it. When he came home and realized I was gone, he assumed I was just shopping or visiting family. I dont know why I remember things like that. that actually is true, no one under a certain age . Hubby went home to get a good nights rest the night I got induced. This isnt a birth story, but rather sadder. "I finally snapped and said that I wasn't going to name my child an ugly name that I don't like for the sake of a woman that doesn't even like me," she writes. Jackass. Prodromal labor usually won't. Good grief you have issues. In order to do you, you might push your husband to loneliness, which eventually will lead to far more serious issues than now. When he got home, he dropped his phone in a stock pot that was soaking in the sink. When my contractions were less than 2mins apart, I told my husband we needed to leave. Indeed! So, the advice here is to keep away from the situation and let things happen. We finally make it to the hospital and Im left alone for quite a while and I find out why when he strolls into the room with his lunch of a turkey sandwich, clam chowder soup and soda and he says, dont worry honey, I didnt forget about you, here are your ice chips. He then proceeds to interview and film every nurse that enters the room and when it is time to film the labor, we were out of film, wonder why. And please feel free to add your husbands own egregious efforts below. Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! I had been on a contraction monitor the whole time so my husband could see how much pain I was in. This isnt going to happen. I think you should talk with him about this (perhaps a counselor as well if talking to him alone won't work? After 15 hours of back labor and a placental abruption, mine thought it would be cute to say, Honey, calm down! Karma soon gave him kidney stones afterwards. I'm worried, because I NEED a good labor coach to achieve my goal of a natural birth, but if the whole process begins with me being incredibly pissed at a buzzed DH, I will fail. (Dont even ask about our planning ability! When I was in labor with our son my wife was AMAZING, a true hero. She gives me her phone number . Get weekly updates on baby and your body. Delivery type: Vaginal that progressed to C-section. I went into Labor at 1AM after Superbowl Sunday - DH drank a good part of the day and night and had gone to bed around 11 that. My husband also told me at one point that hearing the doctor give me the episiotomy sounded like someone cutting raw chicken with scissors. I told him to either put the whole call on mute, tell them his wife was in active labor, or (and I strongly encouraged this), NOT TAKE THE DAMN CALL. Andhe bowled the only perfect game of his entire life! It also gives you a sense of control and confidence when you are working with your husband or partner on recovery. He hesitated and then said, I ate it all. I was so busy being in labor that I failed to notice he was munching on my all my snacks! He moved there from the recliner when I got up to walk down the hall to get myself a drink. 26 years of marriage has taught me to make sure she is comfortable and has what she needs first and to be honest about what I need. I made breakfast. More than that is considered heavy drinking, and as previously stated 5+ on any one occasion is considered binge drinking. Its never easy to be with an alcoholic husband, but these things can surely help. Not all men are alcoholics, or would make these choices, so stop generalizing all men to excuse your own husband's behaviour and choices (and your own choices to stay with him). There's also a growing body of medical literature that finds links between stressful events in pregnancyincluding natural disastersand poor birth outcomes. Because, he was a little bit tired. I had a hellish time trying to breastfeed my newborn son (turns out he had a tongue thrust issue and didnt latch on until he was 5 weeks old ) and in the middle of the hospital room, amidst lactation consultants and even a sucking specialist , my husband announces : Honey, let me show you, this is how you do it. my parents always had a rule never to argue in front of me or my younger brother.. Many, many people struggle with this same issue, and there is help available if he chooses to use it. My now ex husband left me home to go to army reserves for the day as i labored home alone. It really hurts. I replied, What the fuck is wrong with you? The next few hours are a blur but my husband keeps having to leave to use the bathroom. Kept busy being a working mother of 3 children, one with Aspergers, renovating the original money pit and drinking too many coffees in the space of 24 hours. Of course, I ended up delivering at 230 AM and when I asked for something to eat, the doctor told me Id have to wait until the cafeteria opened. He said he needed to shower and run a couple of errands and get some lunch. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. He then moved to the toilet to puke some more before I yelled at him that hed better get the hell out of there because I needed it NOW. He finally comes back as I was about to go investigate (and by investigate, I mean cause bodily harm) and explained that he had food stuck in his teeth so he had been trying to floss it out!!!!!! He normally goes to the pub every Friday, not too late. Want Mommy Shorts delivered daily or weekly to your inbox? And to all the posters making excuses: it doesn't matter if it's beer or liquor. I don't feel bad because he should have enough respect for me not to drink for a month. The only challenge that arises at that moment is neither your husband needs your help at that very moment nor youre a professional counselor. I stayed at home as long as I could (we live 5mins drive from the hospital). He is trying to lose some weight before the LO gets here. I understand your concern about getting to the hospital when you're in labor, but have you considered the bigger picture? I shoot him a look and he says oh, I thought you would drive. I was 7cm dilated when they checked me in. Then he is hungry and is trying to make a sandwich and I inform him it is time to leave for the hospital. I jumped on board. I almost left the house to officiate a HS basketball game (scrimmage) when she was in labor. "She went into labour.": she started giving birth (generally means her waters broke or she otherwise started experiencing labour pains) we're focusing on the moment the labour started (moment in time, not duration) "She was in labour for 3 hours.": we're focusing on the length of the labour (duration, not moment in time) Lydia and her husband Steven Reece, 40, from Winston . One suggestion was to bring food just in case I delivered in the middle of the night and the cafeteria was closed (everyone said Id be STARVING after delivery). He hasn't had one drink since that night because he knows I'm serious. We have the ability to maintain our rage and hide it away for just the right amount of time so it can be released with maximum effect at precisely the right time. I was having post labor contractions holding onto the counter begging him to just microwave a Mac and cheese from the freezer talking him through it. Or a little bit of both? I woke up at 2:30 to contractions. I never left my wifes side while she gave birth. At 6am. It was one of the biggest events in . "When I [give] with just with my doula and midwife alone, I can allow myself to do whatever is needed to get the baby out," she says. Needless to say..while gasping for breath, I told him to shut up. You all left 237(!) We checked into the hospital at 7am, they started pitocin by 8am, and he only stepped out of the room twice (to smoke :boo:) until 8pm when E was born. I called him to come home and he suggested id feel better walking up and down the street.

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